by Stephen Post and Jill Neimark
The (main) author, Stephen Post, is a professor of bioethics at Case Western, and the president and founder of the Institute for Research on Unlimited Love (IRUL), located at the school. In this book, he makes the claim that possessing and acting on loving traits such as generosity, courage, listening, respect, creativity, humor, compassion, and so on help improve one's outlook, health, and lifespan. Citing dozens of studies commissioned and funded by his own IRUL institute, and with some dubious phrases such as "compassion may be oxytocin, the feel-good hormone" and "drumming in groups can boost the immune system" (these statements probably not approved by the FDA), he does show some evidence that altruism is linked to health. Of course there is also a lot of reliance on correlation as well: veterans who performed acts of bravery were found to score high on maturity and emotional stability; those who volunteer to help others tend to live longer. But does volunteering make you live longer, or do healthier, positive, stress-free people volunteer? The passages on forgiveness and listening are the strongest, in my view. With practical advice including how to use Tonglen breathing, a Tibetan Buddhist technique for sending compassion into the universe, and great quotes such as "you can't hear with your heart until you silence the noise of the ego," these chapters give readers ways to improve their daily life by reducing stress. I also enjoyed some of the advice on conflict: while listening to others, accept what they say, check how your body is reacting, and instead of replying, ask yourself, how can I meet this with kindness? In all, Post's "proofs" of the benefits of living with love fall somewhere between dubious science and cultish zealotry, but shouldn't we all act like it is true anyway? After all, "compassion is the basis of morality." Until we have more rigorous proof, that's good enough.
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